Ought, should & am...

When I look back at last year, and I look around at life now, I am overwhelmingly aware of my own failings...how I try and try and try to be better, to be the person I think people want me to be...

But we are not called to spent our lives looking back, to beat ourselves up with relentless shame that we are not who we ought to be, or should be. I can change what I look like any day of the week, but I can never change my heart, change what has been or could have been or will be. This is all completely out of my control, this is not something to overwhelm or frighten, but a reminder that I am not in this alone.

"But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

I ought to be better, I should try harder... But I am loved as I am.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."

Every tear drop is a waterfall...

The stars looked beautiful on my way home, I stopped at a wet park bench to revel in the quiet...

There's knowing and there's knowing, I wish I knew...

"I am not my own,

For I have been made new.

Please don't let me go,

I desperately need you..."

I wish you didn't feel so impassive! Where are you?!

Holding firmly to the faith we profess...even if it's just my fingertips, will you help me hold on?