Pursued by Joy

So much of my thoughts this term have been on the question of joy: what is it and how can I have it?

I looked for answers in every place I could, but still wasn't sure of what I knew.

To try and force a smile on my face, to read and read about Jesus, to go to church and listen, to try harder when I prayed, to push all anxiety to the furthest corners of my mind...the list goes on.

In some ways, I was totally unsuccessful. But why? I really want the joy of Jesus in my life, what's missing?

Looking back, my journey has not been completely unfruitful. I have learnt that joy is not just a fleeting feeling, something that can be evoked by the right emotions or only belongs to happy people, but joy is the deep and reassuring hope and truth that my life rests in the hands of Jesus Christ. Joy is knowing that however far I fall, his hands reach further. Joy is his glory, when I'm found in the desert place his is the stream of living water.

To be joyful is to know this, and to stand firm in his promise. But more than that, Jesus is joy, it is him who pursued me relentlessly this term, who went before me and came behind me in every situation. The joy is not mine, but his, and I share in that with no obligation to achieve anything.

"But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him. For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath."

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us....Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal"