The most Beautiful Thing

"Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven — for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.”
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Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”" Luke 7:44-47,50

Someone wise once told me that no matter how I felt, if I praised God he would bless me. At the time, I really, really did not want to listen. "But you don't understand how I feel, you don't know how badly I've done wrong".

The truth of the matter is, however you feel & wherever you are, glorifying God is the most important thing - ever. The woman in this story was a sinner, she was accused of wasting precious oil, of being too unworthy to approach Jesus. Yet she was not blinded by her own iniquities but fully aware of the need to bless this man, Jesus.

This is not a post to dampen your feelings, to tell you to ignore them and paste on a smile as you try harder to worship. Luke describes how as she washed his feet the woman was weeping, for what reason we can only guess, but the fact remains that she came as she was - full to the brim of emotions & problems. Then Jesus describes her act as "a beautiful thing" (Matthew 26:10). And yes, what could be more beautiful than praising and anointing our Saviour!

Truthfully, this story is a hard one to follow. But it is told for a reason - "I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her." (Matthew 26:13). What reason? That we might know that we can come, broken as we are, and offer the simplest of praise. And it does not stop there. After being blessed by the oil & tears, Jesus turns to woman and wipes clean her sins, he forgives and restores her.

We can be so tired, so broken that we forget to praise, or even refuse to. It can seem like such an effort to turn weeping into joy, to actively 'have to' praise & glorify God, or guilt tripping ourselves into worship on a Sunday morning. I don't know exactly in what state this woman approached Jesus, but I know that she offered up blessings to him, and in return he blessed her with much more than she could have imagined. I know my own sinful soul, and I am so encouraged that my praise is not worthless, so encouraged that Jesus desires only my heart and my love of him, so encouraged that he accepts my praises - little or big, in sorrow or in joy!

So be encouraged, your praise is worth it in spite of your own failings. There are 10,000 reasons for your soul to sing, and put your hope in him, our Saviour and Lord.

The unnaturalness of Death

Why do we grieve? There is some part of us, some part that still remembers what life was like before death... How life was formed back in the garden, and the perfectness of that first relationship.

Death is not natural, even Jesus wept at the grave of his friend.

Even though I am not yet grieving, and even though I know the pain that will come, I cannot help but wonder at a God who shared with us his pain at the loss of what was perfect.

The process of mourning & grieving is not one I shall look forward to, but I rejoice that my God has gone there before me, and will go with me through it. When I compare the pain of death to the beauty of the cross, it seems in some way that grief is a reminder of what is to come: full and complete restoration to a perfect relationship with my saviour.

I do not want to belittle loss, or hope that I will be able to ignore the pain, but I want to know I am not alone in this, and that life is not without purpose - he holds us in the palms of his hands...

Pursued by Joy

So much of my thoughts this term have been on the question of joy: what is it and how can I have it?

I looked for answers in every place I could, but still wasn't sure of what I knew.

To try and force a smile on my face, to read and read about Jesus, to go to church and listen, to try harder when I prayed, to push all anxiety to the furthest corners of my mind...the list goes on.

In some ways, I was totally unsuccessful. But why? I really want the joy of Jesus in my life, what's missing?

Looking back, my journey has not been completely unfruitful. I have learnt that joy is not just a fleeting feeling, something that can be evoked by the right emotions or only belongs to happy people, but joy is the deep and reassuring hope and truth that my life rests in the hands of Jesus Christ. Joy is knowing that however far I fall, his hands reach further. Joy is his glory, when I'm found in the desert place his is the stream of living water.

To be joyful is to know this, and to stand firm in his promise. But more than that, Jesus is joy, it is him who pursued me relentlessly this term, who went before me and came behind me in every situation. The joy is not mine, but his, and I share in that with no obligation to achieve anything.

"But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him. For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath."

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us....Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal"

Hold my heart...

"One tear in the driving rain,

One voice in the sea of pain

Could the maker of the stars

Hear the sounds of my breaking heart?"

"Though the struggles have been many

And the flesh inside me weak

Lord, your grace and truth have taught me

My soul is well"

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Holding on to and enjoying the eternal joy found in Jesus Christ. He has my heart, and holds it safe forevermore.