Time and Time again...

"On and on we go,
Well come love take my hand.
On and on we go,
Time and time again.
On and on again,
Back to where this all began,
Come love take my hand
Come love take my hand..."

It's like they'd opened a door I'd shut, padlocked & refused to go near.

The gossip train's always a hard place to learn something...

Where do I go for comfort?

"Come love, take my hand"

Almost over

Tomorrow will be exam free b l i s s.

I hope :')

I will need to rest, but if this means feeling...I'd rather keep going...?



"One tear in the driving rain...would you come close, and hold my heart?"

Pursued by Joy

So much of my thoughts this term have been on the question of joy: what is it and how can I have it?

I looked for answers in every place I could, but still wasn't sure of what I knew.

To try and force a smile on my face, to read and read about Jesus, to go to church and listen, to try harder when I prayed, to push all anxiety to the furthest corners of my mind...the list goes on.

In some ways, I was totally unsuccessful. But why? I really want the joy of Jesus in my life, what's missing?

Looking back, my journey has not been completely unfruitful. I have learnt that joy is not just a fleeting feeling, something that can be evoked by the right emotions or only belongs to happy people, but joy is the deep and reassuring hope and truth that my life rests in the hands of Jesus Christ. Joy is knowing that however far I fall, his hands reach further. Joy is his glory, when I'm found in the desert place his is the stream of living water.

To be joyful is to know this, and to stand firm in his promise. But more than that, Jesus is joy, it is him who pursued me relentlessly this term, who went before me and came behind me in every situation. The joy is not mine, but his, and I share in that with no obligation to achieve anything.

"But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him. For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath."

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us....Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal"

Hold my heart...

"One tear in the driving rain,

One voice in the sea of pain

Could the maker of the stars

Hear the sounds of my breaking heart?"

"Though the struggles have been many

And the flesh inside me weak

Lord, your grace and truth have taught me

My soul is well"

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Holding on to and enjoying the eternal joy found in Jesus Christ. He has my heart, and holds it safe forevermore.

Finding peace...

What if I can't get my work done on time? I'm never going to pass this exam! How can I be this tired! I just can't concentrate...

Be still.

If getting a cup of tea was so stressful, how can I think about doing anything else?

Be still.

I need to fill out the feedback forms...how are we going to make sense of them all? What if I don't understand the form?

Be still.

If I meet someone at 11:45, which bus do I need to get? Can I/do I want to go alone?

Be still.

Buying for secret santa, help?! And baking....

Be still.

I hope he finds his phone....

Be still.

I forgot my library books...have I got time to go home and get them? I could go now, I'm not going to do any work...What am I going to do for dinner...how can I organise my day?

Be still.

It's nearly half past 2, and I have done nothing.

Be still.

How can I be still, when there's so much to do?

Be still and know that I AM God.

No buts. Be still.

All I need...

"This jar of clay in all its weakness

Somehow inside dwells your fullness

Even though I'm not yet flawless,

You are forming me"

"Valleys come and tears aren't dried yet and there are things I don't yet see

But I'll rejoice in spite of hardship

You'll watch over me"

With my back to the outside wall, I can feel its coldness right through my body, chilling.

With my eyes facing forward, I can see the light beside me, comforting.

To remember where my hope is hid does not make the wall any warmer, but to lift my eyes and see the heavenly sight that awaits gives me strength.

"Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:

Who created all these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one,

and calls them by name.

Because of his great power and mighty strength,

not one of them is missing..."

Small things...

"I'm running fast and free to you, for you are the movement and fight in me..."

Even when it's dark outside, when the wind howls and the storm rages; even when it all feels hopeless, when I'd love to curl up in hole and pretend there's nothing else; even if I can't see the light at the end, and I've lost sight of where life is going; even if I can't feel it, I can still remember, or remember what remembering is like.

You are the movement and fight in me. There is joy, small & fleeting, but hopeful, I have been saved.

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you"

To do otherwise would be an active step away, remaining is the easiest act I can do, and it is the only thing I can do.

The battle has already been won, the joy is ours.

Those Three Words...

If I've only learnt one thing this week, it's that life has a purpose, bigger than I could ever imagine.

The rain came suddenly, but already it looks better outside.

This still hurts, but I'll keep pressing forward, remembering these encouragements...

Every tear drop is a waterfall...

The stars looked beautiful on my way home, I stopped at a wet park bench to revel in the quiet...

There's knowing and there's knowing, I wish I knew...

"I am not my own,

For I have been made new.

Please don't let me go,

I desperately need you..."

I wish you didn't feel so impassive! Where are you?!

Holding firmly to the faith we profess...even if it's just my fingertips, will you help me hold on?

Journey again...

"This grip...never breaks...

Your words are always there to break my fall

In them I find the comfort to see through it all

Guide me through uncharted waters

Before I lose my way again

Will you be my compass until forever?"

"When life gives you lemons....

Sell them because you're a student and you have no money"

An indication of how productive my day has been/is, is the fact that I now have twitter.

Oh for an attention span of more than 5 minutes...

Normal service to resume shortly,

...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The Bigger Picture

"Hard pressed on every side, but not crushed..."

Some small comfort in that...

We are safe. Hold on hope.

The journey...

"Yet will he bring, dark to light..."

We were created to be relational, to be creative, to be joyful. There should be no shame in happiness.

“Hear my prayer, O LORD,

listen to my cry for help;

be not deaf to my weeping.
For I dwell with you as an alien,
a stranger, as all my fathers were.
Look away from me, that I may rejoice again
before I depart and am no more.”

God understands our weeping, plant your tears in him and you will reap joy. There is no shame in happiness.

Darkness...

The nights come in quicker, the smiles come in slower.

"Where are you in my broken heart?

Everything seems to fall apart

Everything feels rusted over

Tell me that you're there..."

Strength

Beauty in the aftermath...

Where does it come from?

What my heart craves is love, what my mind craves is solitude...

"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything..."

Language

Words. Who needs words? Words are so harsh, with their straight lines and their curves.

Words provide no nourishment or comfort, there is no love in words.

Words are impassive, tools of our emotions, shrapnel of our minds. Words have no feelings, they do not care.

Words paint a thousand pictures, when eyes cannot suffice, ears begin to hear.

Words begin where imagination left off, when hearts have grown cold, minds weak, words will fight.

Words survive, words wrestle and win wars, words bring back echoes of the past, full of colour, and hope.

Words. Who needs words?

T minus zero

If I could make more time, what would I do in it?

If there was always another day, how would you spend it?

When I have so much to do, do I really want more time?

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

"My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest"

When you're too in love to let it go...

Now is the time to not lose heart. Now more than ever.

This is when I need to remember grace, to hold on to joy.

If I can keep my heart singing, my soul praising, this will be my satisfaction.

Therefore, we do not lose heart...

"We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...."

Half a life...

"And who do you think you are?

Running round leaving scars,

Collecting your jar of hearts

and tearing love apart.

You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul...

So don't come back for me,

Who do you think you are?"

I don't want to learn to live half a life...

I want all the joy.

But who do you think you are, running round leaving scars, collecting your jar of hearts?

Cuz you broke all your promises...

But I know someone who didn't... My soul is well.

Waiting in the wings

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

Sung by flaming tongues above.

Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,

Mount of thy redeeming love...

Joy comes from Jesus, so my joy should come from trusting him, even when it feels hopeless.

I wasn't honest, I didn't tell you how I felt, I'm not sure it would have been appropriate...

Satisfaction is not found in me.

Wait in his wings...

Oh Happiness...

First cup of real tea in a week...

Maybe the caffeine will help me concentrate?

Or just sleep...sleep would be good...

Disappointment

Surfaces up as frustration, resentment, mistrust...

Where do I go from here?

I will hang on the hook of your Splendor...

And I hold it so close to my chest with my hands in your hands...

Fireworks

This is Jesus in His glory
King of Heaven dying for me
It is finished, He has done it
Death is beaten, Heaven beckons me

How can you find joy in the darkest places?

When you look around the mess, and the only thing you see is Jesus.

When the only way out of your sorrow is Jesus.

Light is made so much brighter when it shines through the darkness, this is Jesus in his glory.

The joy is, that he is the only one.

Things found in cupboards...

"Is Jesus just a big valentines card?

...when we look at Jesus it's pretty obvious he knew how to show people love... and he never sent a card. He wasn't about romantic love which is exclusive to just two people. Instead he was about caring, noticing and valuing individuals. Jesus is beyond all Valentine's day gifts....it's Jesus who shows us what love really is. Love is sacrifice, forgiveness, commitment and relationship."

"Good behaviour is not conforming to the expectations of your peer group, but being transformed gradually day by day, to be more like Jesus. Let us not be fooled by the Devil or anyone else that goodness or holiness is not a desirable and beautiful thing."

"God wastes nothing, not even the heartbreaking moments..."

A highlighter, a sharpie pen, a floppy disk & some plates.

Peppermint tea ♥

How's your heart?

It's not very bright over here.

It feels kind of overwhelming...

"When shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When darkness falls on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We'll remember the cost
We're resting in the
Shadow of the cross"

When darkness falls on us, we will not fear, we will remember...

Remember...

заувек Бог је веран,

заувек Бог је јак.

заувек Бог је са нама,

заувек, и увек

заувек

Shine

"Surround me with the rush of angels wings..."

There's some joy, hidden deep. Find it, and keep it safe?

"Your heart is in safe hands..."

Falling faster, Diving deeper

"For in my helplessness you heard my cry, and waves of mercy poured out on my life..."

Cold. Grey. Damp. Norfolk.

I'm not sure I can see the end any more, I'm not convinced it will happen. I don't really...believe...

Faith as small as a mustard seed moves mountains. There's got to be a small shred left? The very fact that I want to believe, to have faith.

I don't have to strive, to be good enough, I can just wait in Grace.

For in my helplessness you will hear my cry, then waves of mercy will pour out in my life...

"I'm running fast and free to you, cuz you are the movement and fight in me..."

Shades of grey...

There is a sneaky bar of dairy milk hidden under my desk.... NOM

Quite excited about using my printer again, should do some work first, yes?

Cinnamonappleflapjackcrumbleomnomnomnomnom

I could make myself more convincing, I just want to leave it up to you :)

Death laid love quiet...

"Send me a sign, a hint a whisper, throw me a line, cuz I am listening. Come break the quiet, breathe your awakening. Bring me the light, cuz I am fading....Can you overcome this heart?"

The light will always outshine the darkness. Day 1.

I want to long after forgiveness & love, to look up as I'm sliding down and be still thankful. Every time I try to escape from it, grace pours itself out on me.

Death laid love LOUD.

We found Love in a hopeless place...

When I remember, I know that you love.

And that nothing I can do changes that.

Is that a good thing? I think so :)

Sitting in a crowded room, it's the most alone I've been all day. It's such a strange thing, why is it when we are surrounded by people, we feel most alone? I'm quite enjoying the solitude today. Not much room for working though....

I was reminded how fragile we are, how easily hearts can be damaged, and how easy it is to hide behind somebody else...even when that person is us.

There's still today, still time. It's not over yet.

Stones taught me to fly...

I love watching the storm, the trees bend & the wind howl...

"Worry not, everything is sound,

This is the safest place, you've found..."

I wish I could remember this.

He was in Babylon for a reason, and was blessed to be in there...

Thanks for the lifeline :)

At Wits End

You dare to light my path...

"You give a strength to me,

A strength I've never had.

I was a mess you see,

I'd lost the plot so bad

You dragged me up & out,

Out of the darkest place.

There's not a single doubt that I can see your face..."

Dare. To meet defiantly, courageously.

We need to feel breathless with love...

....and not collapsed under its weight..."

I love Snow Patrol.

I've been thinking a lot about hearts, joy & love. This kind of sums it up.

The thing is, he gave us freedom that we might be free.

"Love will not betray, dismay or enslave you it will set you free..."

This does not have to be a burden, a bag on my shoulder, but my freedom.

I'm still pursuing Joy, but I don't want to get dragged down by frustration & despair, sort of defeats the point?

The Darkest hours...

They must come soon?

I'll keep trying harder, faster, more....stay awake longer, fight to last, make myself bigger, stronger....

To what end?

If life is just a means to an end, then.....what am I doing?

If it's about surviving, where does living fit in?

Breathing is not enough, deep down I will never be satisfied.

Now, while I have no time to be thinking, breathing, doing, I can pretend I don't have to...

It won't ever feel right....I'm not sure I can keep awake until dawn...

Crack the Shutters Open Wide...

Inspiration hits at the strangest times... I should be tired, I should be asleep...

'your words in my memory, are like music to me...'

I don't want ordinary...I want to dive deeper into colour...

I got new pyjamas :)

I think, I might have to try them out...

I'm done drawing, editing, advertising, and posting, till tomorrow then...

Pursuing....What?

4 walls, one door.

Why?

What I am doing?

How can I have forgotten, again?

What am I doing here?

Take me back, all the way, and when you're done, pick me up and carry me home...

How many cups of tea....

....make 5?

One too many...

I could be addicted to something else, that makes it ok?

It's not the action, it's the reason.

Round 2 coming up, I can do it?

"So hard to hide..."

You're only ever as free as a Kite (Pursuing Joy #2)

That bit of fabric was made to fly, to soar, but it's held by two bits of string. How ever hard it tries it will never touch the sky.

I sometimes think I did this Christianity thing all wrong, and backwards. 6 months after I become a christian, I screw it all up and am still living with the consequences.

But then I realise, it's not about Jesus taking away all my human desires, and making me into a super spiritual being, but it's about him saying to me 'Look, I am beautiful. I love you. How could you want anything else?'

I just have to remember that...

You're only ever as free as a Kite.

"It is for FREEDOM that Christ has set us free"

Pursuing Joy...

"I look around the grave
For an escape route of old routine
There doesn't seem to be any other way

'Cause I've started falling apart
I'm not savouring life
I've forgotten how good it could be to feel alive..."

It's true, I have.

Something I read about when the clouds roll in, the storm starts to rage, and I'm weighed down by it all, completely helpless yet my head is lifted upwards. He is glorified in our weakness. Glorified.

What does that mean then?

I want to know how to love, to laugh, to have joy, abundantly...

Noone human can just flick the switch inside me, but...

Is it wrong, I want someone there?

I can't tell, is it ok?

Is prayer enough?

'Crazy as it sounds you won't,

feel as low as you feel right now....'

The only way is up? Right?

I'm scared I messed it up...I had one job, and I can't do it...

(Take the pieces, and build them skywards...)

And if you can fly...

I'll find that place :)

I need it to be closer...

Look at the stars...

If I can wonder, that's close enough...?

See the sun, the light of half the world. Remember why you are waiting...You were made to soar...

...Don't stop at the sky, cuz there's footprints on the moon...

5 Minutes...

On a rollercoaster...

Well that helped...still, the download's happening...

But it won't do me any good, 'these songs that remind me of you...'

We'll jump on a plane & fly to the moon, how about that?

Like they would if I was CAPTAIN

Somebody help me sing, can anybody hear me?"

I wouldn't.

"Dream like you never dream, sing like you never sing..."

Easy for you to say...

Dream like you never dream...

What happens when they collide?

How do I know when to pull out?

How can I know which one to take?

I'd dream for you, but I can't promise anything.

"Drink you in like sunshine, love you in the dark..."

Like they would if I was Captain...

When we collide...

Like dynamite...

How can I concentrate, when you keep doing backflips?

I tried to do handstands for you, got bruises on my knees for you...

'Cuz you'd tear us apart, with all the thing you don't like. But you can't understand, that I won't leave...'

I am the sea...

'In her own creepy world, there's a girl, there's a girl...'

Sky kissed daisys...

14 photographs,

I am a mountain, I am the sea...

Happy :)

Good week, flood, rain, laughs, tears, starwars...

14 commitments :')

"Awake the stars, cuz they're all around you..."

"I let it get dark, so you'd see the stars"

"This picture paints a thousand words..."

"And that's when it became a dream..."

I thought it was about where I was King, the place that noone could touch, the space I could control...

'Show me your ways O God, teach me your paths...'

So, so tired...

So if the green left the grass, on the other side...

Hope is the strongest word I know.

My sister bought some new felt tips, kinda jealous, so I got out mine. They're an odd bunch of old ones & new ones, some of them work, some of them don't, but we've been through alot together. They went to Belarus and back, possibly my biggest & bestest adventure yet...

"But if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?

Backyard of butterflies surrounded me!"

Fill the sea with tears,

Tell the moon to come home.

Let me dream...

"suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope"

- Everybody's panicking!

-Gosh, are they? I seem to be having a bit of toast in my pyjamas....

....gosh how serious is this? will I need slippers?

If you can fly, don't stop at the sky coz there's footprints on the moon...

When you see the cliff, the sea, remember to trust ♥

In deep, blue seas of paper maché...

The sun sets on another day, I wonder what's changing...

It's alright, I still miss you...and how I felt...

Come explore with me,

The princess in her flowerbed,
Pulled the jungle underground,
Where cherry bombs stain the blackbird's red,
And explosions never make a sound.

And fly...

Where was I,

When the rockets came to life, and carried you away?

I don't want to get lost there, in case I don't come back, and I'm scared of what's there...but at the same time I don't want it to stop, at least here I'm in control...

Maybe that's what it is...

I had worries, mostly the idea death versus life kept coming into my thoughts. Not just the literal sense of life and death, but death as in the absence of really living, fully. And then I questioned what really living meant. I grew into this person I was never actually sure I would be. - Jodi Vander Heide, 2011

Inspirational words, I wonder if you will ever read this? I would love to be like you, to have your faith in Christ...

I know that it is not about what I do, how I am faithful, but about him being faithful to me, I just don't get this most of the time...

Something's beautiful...

But that's not how I feel...

"Yeah he's a looker, but I really think it's guts that matter most...."

To bad I haven't got any...

I've never liked this, liked me.

I just FAIL

but i don't want to.

help?

"Even though I'll never know what's up ahead, I'm never letting go, I'm never letting go..."

"As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us"

My friend gave me the biggest hug ever, and I thought "why? I don't deserve this!"

It's like Grace, we don't deserve anything, yet because of his great love for us we are given everything.

"On that day the Proud will fall, the Faithful rise...

Where will you be?

I can't help not rejoicing...he went straight to hell! That's not something I feel joyful about, no matter what happened. It's an odd feeling, I wonder if I'd feel the same if I was american? We are no safer because we don't know the face of the enemy, even the merciless killing of thousands does not justify that of one.

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."
–Martin Luther King, Jr.

One of the most famous Americans ever. Isn't that kind of ironic?

...Strong as a mighty rock, our refuge in the coming wrath, the heart of the bride belongs to Jesus, Jesus..."

I've left it all behind...

I’d still like to splurge tho, I’ve never known my own mind well enough to be able to…

It was all just a coping mechanism, I didn’t know how to deal with big feelings, or how to understand my emotions. Even positive ones. Knowing when I’m more susceptible to these things helps, as does having a different perspective.

It’s my relationship with Him that matters, I don’t want to put anything in the way of that.

I can say I've let go of this, it’s not a part of who I am any more. That’s why I don’t want to do this, to bring it up and focus on it, it’s not that important. At the same time tho, it’s something to be aware of, to “take each thought captive”.

When there’s a lot on, when I just don’t understand or know how to deal with my feelings, it all does come back. The thing is, whilst I might not know what to do with my feelings, I can fight it. Trusting God is so much better, an eternal perspective helps.

Hebrews 11…

We Belong to the Day:

Strong as a mighty rock, our refuge in the coming wrath

The heart of the bride belongs to Jesus, Jesus

The Earth in its turning stops to marvel at the Son of God

And all of that day belongs to Jesus, Jesus

Keep waiting, keep trusting...

the darkest hours are just before dawn

Early in the morning, it's so dark you cannot see anything.

Later on, the first ray of light comes, but it's still sometime before the full sun comes up...

Grace & Love

Crazy, crazy week. Maybe if I was not so tired, but I have been sleeping....I may have scraped 6 hours sleep on Tuesday....although I was still awake at 0:03 and my alarm went off at 6:00...so maybe not...

Music stealer. Why yes, hello (:

Btw, I still miss you... "I wish I could cross my arms, and cross your mind..." But you like her. Sad times...

"You are more, beautiful, than anyone, ever..."

If I remembered this, and kept focused, it'd be less stressful...yes?

"How could you be so good? There is no one like you,"

Been a long time since I properly updated this. Writing is less fun when it's 2500 & 1500 by Thursday....that was last week, stop with the nightmares already! ;) It's been a dream dream week, maybe that's why I'm so exhausted! Never mind, cake :)

Oops, adverts, the Latvian radio choir? When's the Serbia trip? как дела :)

C'est en Biélorussie, non? Mais je-t-elle doit téléphoner. Absolument.

Please email me back, I know there's nothing you can do from China, and he never lets go, but I would like something friendly, encouraging. I'm sure you haven't forgotten me...

"Hello Hurricane, you're not enough

Hello Hurricane, you can't silence my love

I've got doors and windows boarded up

All your dead end fury is not enough

You can't silence my love..."

"Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God" Psalm 42:5

Buttercup Festival

I wish I could cross my arms,

And cross your mind...

I'm only on January, but it's getting there :)

I don't mean to be annoying, I guess I just miss you :)

Aah, spot! :O

Odine, Dva, Tri!

"Then I was given grace and love, I was blind but now I can see
Cause I found a new hope from above, and courage swept over me

It hurts just to wake up, whenever you're wearing thin
Alone on the outside, so tired of looking in
The end is uncertain and I've never been so afraid
But I don't need a telescope to see that there's hope
And that makes me feel brave..."

Sweet dreams tiger, I made it through yesterday :)

(Oh sleep tonight, sleep dreamlessly this time...)

And Death had been swallowed up....

By Life. :)

A. B. V. D. E (yeh). E (yor). F. :D c'est la russian.

Looking forward to a crazy busy summer, not looking forward to crazy essay writing!

Funny things that happened on the bus this week...

The old man that was sat at the front of the bus, he got up to get off, walked past the stairs and got to the back of the bus, then he walked into me and said "I can't find the stairs, I must have missed them..." yes, yes you did miss them...

The girl in front of me who fell asleep and then jumped a foot in the air when the stop button went off... lolololololololol.

I made cake for later :D

Year 2 begins...

And it's even harder than year one...I just hoped with February over it would all be over, yes?

And I need a Hero...

The prospect of this week looks a little daunting, at least I don't have to face it alone :)

"And the wait overtakes the violence
And we watch as the giants fall"

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Save me from myself....

I guess I'm normal at least

Almost can't believe how much I teased you...I know exactly how you feel x

"And if you see me please just walk on by, walk on by...forget my name and I'll forget it too."

Love let me in...

I was foolish to think I had a hope in hell of reaching you, yet I still did.

'Cuz I drink you in like sunshine, love you in the dark...

...

"It's out of my hands, it was from the start..."

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

I always had a heart for you

And now you don't have one for me?

I'm worried I'm not feeling anything, shouldn't I be upset? If I like you so much, then, should this not make me even a little annoyed?

I'm concious of how I'm talking, how every word is formed so you don't guess, so I don't land myself in it.

At least you're supportive I guess...

Maybe I do feel bad, it's just I don't right now...

Stars

I thought this was pretty :)

Home at Last

I feel if I have to sit here and look antisocial, I may as well be antisocial, and blog. I'd much rather draw, but don't have my notebook, and the lines in my other one will get in the way!

Lunchbar 4, looking good :) I should've probably invited more people, or at least the ones I did invite done it properly...next time :)

I like this second chance thing, :)

I should write something in my LCICs blog, but nothing communicative is happening...

Can't get onto portal yet so think that is a good enough excuse not to work :)

Maybe I'll make a picture and put it up, that would be entertaining :)

Should not have had that hot chocolate...

2 x peppermint tea day again! :/ I traded the third one in for a hot chocolate, but it did not have the desired effect in keeping me awake, instead is sending me to sleep. Oh dear. Sorry ethnography.

You ask me how I feel about him? Still the same, trying to ignore it, also trying not too...he better come back...

Cake Love :)

Well today has been a 2x peppermint tea day. Phew. And I still have 2 presentations to sort out, a meeting to go to, a sentence to say (&plan) (in front of lots of people, eek), a mini drama to learn & perform, and tomorrow.

I don't really need to worry about tomorrow yet tho, as long as I remember FNP and don't get travel sick I'll be fine.

Epic snack: waffle & ketchup in toast, followed by pink buttercream butterfly bun & phish food (yum) and mug 1 of peppermint tea. I must remember this for future reference :)

Oh pants. Le petit lapin d'alice en wonderland est ici. A cote de moi.

But I don't need a telescope

To see that there's hope, and that makes me feel brave...

I'm sad Elizabeth may not be there, but happy that my owl is here to stay :)

It has been a good day tho :) and, I'm excited :D tree with new leaves coming through, no matter what :)

Wall-ee, whatever happens I will keep trusting, and will just be your friend.

Set us free, to love the mystery...

"I have confidence in your strength, you are my refuge"

why would you forgive me?

Here's my crash...

I did enjoy myself last night tho, was good to see you all :)

Maybe see you again later?

I'd like things to work out, not to feel like this. I'm not big and I'm not clever but I'm not....this.

"We need a Hero..."

"As far as the eye could see
As deep as the heart could be
Such an impossibility that you would forgive me"

"I know we could get there much faster if we wanted to,

That isn't what you and I came here to do..."

"I let it get dark, so you'll see the stars

They'll say we're in love, we probably are.

No mountains to climb, papers to sign

Offer your heart, I've given you mine"

"Rivers fill the oceans, oceans never fill..."

Some of my favourite lyrics ever :)

I write a lot of lyrics from songs....

...sometimes they just say nice things :)

I do miss you wall-e, but not as much as I did, it's getting better :)

Day 4 1/2? sort of, I lost count :)

"So I'm asking you

Is it safe, is it safe to land?
'Cause I'm not going far on an empty heart
Is it safe, is it safe to land?
'Cause the long fall back to earth is the hardest part"

Carry me, your love is wider than my need could ever be...

Day 3 of 2011, day 1 of bible in a year :)