Time and Time again...

"On and on we go,
Well come love take my hand.
On and on we go,
Time and time again.
On and on again,
Back to where this all began,
Come love take my hand
Come love take my hand..."

It's like they'd opened a door I'd shut, padlocked & refused to go near.

The gossip train's always a hard place to learn something...

Where do I go for comfort?

"Come love, take my hand"

Almost over

Tomorrow will be exam free b l i s s.

I hope :')

I will need to rest, but if this means feeling...I'd rather keep going...?



"One tear in the driving rain...would you come close, and hold my heart?"

Pursued by Joy

So much of my thoughts this term have been on the question of joy: what is it and how can I have it?

I looked for answers in every place I could, but still wasn't sure of what I knew.

To try and force a smile on my face, to read and read about Jesus, to go to church and listen, to try harder when I prayed, to push all anxiety to the furthest corners of my mind...the list goes on.

In some ways, I was totally unsuccessful. But why? I really want the joy of Jesus in my life, what's missing?

Looking back, my journey has not been completely unfruitful. I have learnt that joy is not just a fleeting feeling, something that can be evoked by the right emotions or only belongs to happy people, but joy is the deep and reassuring hope and truth that my life rests in the hands of Jesus Christ. Joy is knowing that however far I fall, his hands reach further. Joy is his glory, when I'm found in the desert place his is the stream of living water.

To be joyful is to know this, and to stand firm in his promise. But more than that, Jesus is joy, it is him who pursued me relentlessly this term, who went before me and came behind me in every situation. The joy is not mine, but his, and I share in that with no obligation to achieve anything.

"But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him. For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath."

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us....Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal"

Hold my heart...

"One tear in the driving rain,

One voice in the sea of pain

Could the maker of the stars

Hear the sounds of my breaking heart?"

"Though the struggles have been many

And the flesh inside me weak

Lord, your grace and truth have taught me

My soul is well"

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Holding on to and enjoying the eternal joy found in Jesus Christ. He has my heart, and holds it safe forevermore.

Finding peace...

What if I can't get my work done on time? I'm never going to pass this exam! How can I be this tired! I just can't concentrate...

Be still.

If getting a cup of tea was so stressful, how can I think about doing anything else?

Be still.

I need to fill out the feedback forms...how are we going to make sense of them all? What if I don't understand the form?

Be still.

If I meet someone at 11:45, which bus do I need to get? Can I/do I want to go alone?

Be still.

Buying for secret santa, help?! And baking....

Be still.

I hope he finds his phone....

Be still.

I forgot my library books...have I got time to go home and get them? I could go now, I'm not going to do any work...What am I going to do for dinner...how can I organise my day?

Be still.

It's nearly half past 2, and I have done nothing.

Be still.

How can I be still, when there's so much to do?

Be still and know that I AM God.

No buts. Be still.

All I need...

"This jar of clay in all its weakness

Somehow inside dwells your fullness

Even though I'm not yet flawless,

You are forming me"

"Valleys come and tears aren't dried yet and there are things I don't yet see

But I'll rejoice in spite of hardship

You'll watch over me"

With my back to the outside wall, I can feel its coldness right through my body, chilling.

With my eyes facing forward, I can see the light beside me, comforting.

To remember where my hope is hid does not make the wall any warmer, but to lift my eyes and see the heavenly sight that awaits gives me strength.

"Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:

Who created all these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one,

and calls them by name.

Because of his great power and mighty strength,

not one of them is missing..."